Five things about me

// Sliding Doors

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the presenter (I can’t remember the podcast but let’s go for Steven Barlett) reminded me of the Gwyneth Paltrow movie - Sliding Doors. The premise is simple - Gwyneths character misses a tube (literally misses the tube as the sliding doors close) and then her life is set off in a completely different direction.

It got me thinking about various things and I realised that my life could have been wildly different if I had stuck with some career choices or made some different decisions many years ago.

I also posted on my Linkedin this week about my experiences serving in a different career and a lot of people mentioned to me that they didn’t realise I’d done these things so I thought I would do a two-fold blog post - the first to list the things (and no, this isn’t a listicle style article which one eagle-eyed blog lover pointed out) and the other is to reveal some previous career choices which I could have taken which have kind of led me to this point today.

Do you think of your sliding doors moments in life?

// The Army

I’ll get to the point (regarding the Linkedin post) and say that I served in the British Army for 8 years - it was a weird time as I had zero clue who I was, what I wanted to do with my life and I certainly wasn’t the person I am today.

I served in the Royal Corps of Signals - completed my basic apprenticeship at the Army College in Arborfield (near Reading) and then went to Blandford to complete my actual trade training (I was a telecoms technician) - I spent around 2 years doing all this bit and as I started at the earliest possible time, I was only 16 when I was starting to learn to drive and I’d completed all my basic training by the time I was 18.

When 18 rolled around (I remember my 18th birthday party vividly) - I was still at Blandford but about to ‘graduate’ and I moved to Bulford where I spent the next 4-5 years of my life carrying out active tours of Iraq (twice), Germany for a bit, Canada for a long while but I spent a huge chunk of that time serving in the Falkland Islands.

It’s crazy to think where my life could have headed as I still have friends who currently serve and have begun working in the upper echelons of government stategy and some who have left and forged successful careers - I made the decision to leave for the sake of my family and ultimately, my own mental health as the tours were coming thick and fast and Army life just didn’t agree with me.

I left after serving my one year’s notice period (crazy long right?!) and hopped straight into a career as an electrician.

But what would my life have been like had I continued to serve?

// Radio Star

During my time in the Army - I served in the Falkland Islands. It’s a tiny island off the coast of Argentina on the very southern tip of South America and I was on shift when the planes hit the World Trade Center - our little radar and communications room was completely enclosed - no daylight whatsoever. It was like the bunker in the TV show Lost - we’d have banks of screens, data centre racks and plenty of computers but at the back of this room was a small portable colour TV - this is where we gathered to watch the towers, the smoke and the ultimate collapse. It was a surreal and tense moment (especially as we scrambled the RAF at that moment to patrol the skies around the island).

That was one of three stand out moments from my tour of the island - the second being my ‘second’ career on the island.

I spent the grand total of 9 months in the Falklands and it was a weird place (plenty of strange stories) but after 6 weeks of being there - I’d introduced myself to the team at BFBS (British Forces Broadcasting Service) who ran the radio station on the island (think a poor mans Radio1) and I got involved.

It took me another 4 weeks to learn the desk, understand the functionality of the radio station but then I landed my first radio show - I was presenting!

I presented a radio show for around 4 months and in that time, I partied hard.

I was the Sunday Morning Breakfast host, I covered for the main drive time show (there was no ‘drive time’ but you get the point) and I became someone that people looked up to - it was a career I wanted to pursue.

So much so that when I returned from the Falkland Islands, I applied to be a DJ (using some of the connections I’d made) at Power FM on the south coast. Power FM later became Capital FM but this was a HUGE moment for me.

Again, I got a break - I started presenting the early (very early) show on the weekends - I’m talking the 3-4am shows so the pre-pre-breakfast show and I was enjoying it - the only problem was, I turned up drunk to one show (I didn’t speak for around 45 mins of my show for fear of slurring) and about a week later, I was fired.

Now - another sliding door moment - what if I hadn’t partied that hard? What if I had stuck with the show? Could I have kickstarted that career?

// Electrician

I mentioned earlier that I left the Army and started on my career path to ‘self employment’ - I was a trained electrician and I wanted to run my own business when I left the Army. Except, within a month of me leaving, the law changed and every electrical installation needed to be certified and the cost to have this qualification was fairly high - that kind of stopped me in my tracks and I never got the second career I’d always wanted - to work for myself.

I picked up a job working as a labourer - the hours were long, I was working my ass off physically and I didn’t really care about my career at this point. I was literally working for the sake of working and I was just happy that I didn’t have to disappear off on tour to dangerous places and I could see my family.

It was a weird time as I assimilated myself into the culture of working for a building company - I turned up early to work, grafted all day and then finished late but I was getting fit (like 6 pack fit) and I was able to do a little electrical work here and there as I wired up decking lights, pond lights etc..

It was a time without a lot of stress from what I can remember - the people I worked for were family friends so it wasn’t too hard to please them and I didn’t really have to push too hard to succeed. I think I worked for them for around a year or two before the need for more money came around and I left to get a job in sales..

I keep saying that ‘I think I remember’ because at that time, I was suffering from PTSD from my time in the Army and I disassociated a lot from myself during this time - disassociation means that my brain disconnected and the memories I have from this time (from when I left the Army to when I was about 30) are disjointed - it’s not a clear picture and sometimes I can recall things, but other times I can’t.

I just know that I took some time out to work in a job which wasn’t mentally taxing, wasn’t career driven and I was happy doing it - I kind of just existed for a period of time and I didn’t mind what I was doing as long as it paid the bills.

A part of me wonders if I’d be running that business now or whether I’d have got another job in a different builders had I not got into my next career? Where would that path have taken me if I’d stayed on it?

// The Salesman

As with most of my career choices - it got offered to me over a pint.

I was sat with someone in a beer garden (probably after a long ass day at work) and they said that I had the ‘gift’ to be able to talk to anyone and I have to admit, at that time it was true - I was like a giddy American in a foreign country when it came to talking to strangers, I just didn’t have any fear of striking up a conversation over any subject.

I’m not sure if it was blind confidence or a subconscious need to pursue connection with people after the trauma of PTSD but I wanted to reach out and see where things could take me - I had dabbled in door to door selling (again, a cut throat industry and experience) but the ‘fear’ of knocking doors and the ultimate rejection of having the door slammed in your face was never an issue for me.

I chased the fear - I wanted to feel that adrenaline surge when someone opened the door, I wanted them to slam the door in my face, I chased the rejection and that’s what made me good.

I worked for a company which sold gas and electricity contracts door to door - we’d collect a list of addresses every morning from the office, we’d sporadically highlight the list to make it appear like people had (or hadn’t) been selected and then we’d be dropped off into an area and knock every single door - the thrill of the chase made it worth it.

We’d have a prepared script (which we’d got sent to Edinburgh to learn word for word) and during this time, I learned what worked and how to get inside peoples houses to get that signature. The cadence, tone and speed of voice to capture attention - the phrases which worked, how to overcome the most common objections and more importantly, how to create conversation about the weather (it was my go to tactic on the doorstep).

As I said, this time in my life was slightly hazy but I think I did this job for about 4-5 months (daily door knocking) which was a lifetime compared to some of the other staff. It was a commission only job - no salary so if we didn’t make the sales, we didn’t get paid.

It was that factor that drove me to find a salaried ‘sales’ job and thats where my traditional career kicked off but the time I spent knocking doors, speaking to people and fighting for every penny was a great time. I learned so much about people and even now, if I get a door to door salesman knock my door - I’ll treat them with respect but you can be damn sure, I won’t entertain them.

// I lived everywhere.

The final thing I want to reveal to you is that when I left the Army I didn’t really have a home. I joined the Army back in the 90’s because I grew up in a children’s home and then foster care and it was the perfect escape from that situation so when I left, I only had my girlfriends place to stay and that wasn’t really ‘home’.

I had no connections to any place as for 8 years, I’d been a nomad - Iraq, Germany, Canada and the Falklands had all been my home at some stage and now I’d returned to the place I grew up - it didn’t feel right.

So for 10-15 years, I moved around a LOT.

I’ve lived in Ipswich, Basingstoke, Winchester, Portsmouth and so many more places - I’ve had to travel for 3-4 hours at a time to go and see my eldest son because of where I wanted to live and where the work was.

I didn’t ‘settle’ anywhere but I can finally say that Poole (where I live now) does feel like home. It feels good to have a place to stay and be around others.

My point for raising this is to take it back to those sliding doors moments - where would my life be now had I chosen to stay in any of the places I’d lived in before?

Would I be the same person if I’d stayed in Basingstoke? Probably not (and thats a good thing because I didn’t like Basingstoke) - but I have a firm belief that life puts you in the places where you’re meant to be at that time and had I not lived the life of a soldier, of a DJ, of a builder, of a door to door salesman then what would I be doing now?

All of my experiences (including living in Basingstoke) have led me to the experience level I have now and have given me the insights to succeed in my career now.

I left school with no qualifications really - I failed both my science exams (I was unclassified in both) because I forgot to take a calculator and whilst it stopped me from joining the regiment in the Army that I wanted to join, it’s not adversely affected me in life one little bit.

Life is what you make of it but I will always wonder - what would have happened.. if….