15 Rules for a Simple Life
🌎 15 Rules that I live by.
Here are my 15 rules in order to live a simple and more fulfilling life.
❓1. Always ask why.
Ever since I left the Army and I indoctrinated myself into mainstream society, I quickly learned that the true meaning of something can often be hidden. After spending 8 years in the British Army after leaving school at 16, I was so used to life being direct and straightforward (there was no ulterior motives when taking direct orders) that when I found out that people quite often use nuance and suggestion to gain an advantage, I will now always ask why.
Not only does this give me an opportunity to be inquisitive (I love that about life) but it also means I get to find out why someone is asking something and (when they haven’t thought 2 steps ahead) any insincere thinking is quickly exposed.
⚠️ 2. Always sleep naked.
I don’t understand why people go through their days wearing clothes and dressing up to show off and impress to then go home, shower and then get dressed again to sleep under a cover - get all sweaty and then get up and repeat.
I hear all the naysayers crying out - “What if there is an emergency and I need to leap out of bed?” - and I’d only ask, when was the last time you had an emergency at 3am.
Not only does this half all washing (you’re not washing two sets of clothes every day) but it’s also much more hygienic in my opinion.
Stop wearing clothes at night.
🤙🏻 3. Be Polite and Say Thankyou to Everyone.
I once heard someone say ‘Treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO’ and it stuck with me but not because of some highly held belief that every is as important in business, I think it’s just good manners.
Everyone deserves the same level of respect which is why in every interaction, I do my best to offer sincere thanks.
Whether its the server at Greggs or a high end CEO, everyone’s time is precious and everyone chooses to spend their 24hours in a particular way - time doesn’t understand position or seniority and we are all granted with the same amount, every single day.
Why should your time be more valuable than someone else’s?
If someone gives you a piece of their day, thank them.
Julio will tell you about the time I left all my spare change in a hotel room because the housekeeping maid the day before spent time to ask me how I was and whether I needed anything - I couldn’t say thank you on my way out so I left a note (saying thanks for the time) and left all my spare cash. Small interactions, even when you’re not getting anything back brings out kindness and smiles in others.
🤝 4. Don’t take anything for FREE.
Nothing is free.
I never take anything for free from someone I know - I will always offer to do something in return as I know how much effort goes into the creation of a product/service.
My wife runs a wax melt business and I see how much time goes into the creation of a product - it’s literally her heart and soul.
One of my friends (nod to Mark Masters) runs an event based business and I see how much time, energy and effort goes into making sure everything runs smoothly.
Why would taking something for free be advantageous to either of these people? Always offer to help - do something in return.
When you give something back, it removes the awkward presumption and it means that the person you’re supporting gets some of your value in return. You should always look to match their investment (the freebie) with something of equal or more value.
🫶🏻 5. If you don’t know, say something.
We should be teaching our children to be inquisitive and ask questions - its the only way to learn and I implore you to do the same.
Whenever I travel to the USA, I am always dumbfounded by the amount of questions that I get asked and Americans will always tell you if they don’t understand something.
I get it, it’s embarrassing to admit that you don’t get it but when you get comfortable in asking or relaying that you don’t understand - it becomes so much easier to ask the next time.
Some people live with the assumption that everyone is on the same level as them and they are unaware (I was going to say ignorant but that felt harsh) that other people are not with them on their journey.
This is why I like having the open discussions.
💰 6. Money should never be your motivator.
I am quite happy to admit that money is NEVER a motivator to me. I think it’s the stage of life I am at and I am consciously aware of what drives me (it’s recognition by the way).
I’ll take sales as an example (as it’s the easiest one to explain) - if you’re focused on money and that’s your motivator then your clients and prospects will always be a second place -
I don’t know if this stance is because I never grew up with a lot of money or whether it’s a refined belief because I’ve lived on both ends of the spectrum?
I’m at a time in my life where having enough money is enough. When I say enough, I mean that I need my family to live comfortably. I am no longer chasing the next big pay rise, I’m not chasing the big bonus and I don’t really care if someone pays me more.
Money = Greed.
Sounds cliche but I think it’s true.
🫨 7. Don’t Stress - It will all be alright.
Again, I can attribute this belief down to my time in the Army and a few other subsequent experiences but when you’ve been subjected to potential gas attacks in Iraq and you’ve laid under your vehicle wearing a gas mask for 24-48hrs then a ‘red letter’ from the water board telling you that you owe £34.27 doesn’t really elicit the same level of ‘stress’.
I have come to learn that nothing is really as big as it seems.
There have been times in the last 12-18 months where I haven’t felt like things will be alright and I have also felt that nagging pressure to do more but when I sit with that feeling, I come down to this realisation - it will all be alright.
On this note, if you’re feeling down or you’re struggling - you can always DM me. Feel free to reach out to me for a chat if you think life is getting on top of you.
🎵 8. Music can change your mood.
On the above, I have always found that music is the food that your soul needs sometimes. It’s why boxers have entrance music, it’s why people sell records about heartbreak - it speaks to a part of you that regular talking can’t.
On a Friday - my wife and I cook together (granted, she cooks and I control the playlist).
If I’ve had a good week and I’m feeling upbeat, it will be Motown hits or classic RnB (think Usher from the 90’s).
If I’ve had a stressful week then we head to the realm of Foo Fighters, Kings of Leon and Meatloaf.
If the week was disastrous then out comes the rap - NF, Eminem, Drake or G-Eazy.
It’s our unspoken language and it means we’re on the same page - music aligns us and it communicates more than words.
(BTW - My wife probably doesn’t know why I play certain songs but I get the sympathy/support either way and that’s why she’s my wife)
🤙🏻 9. Integrity is EVERYTHING.
Keeping your word. I’ll always remember when someone doesn’t keep their word.
Once I was behind on my sales (it was years ago, let’s not get carried away) and I was promised my overdue payment of commission if I reached my numbers. I was told in no uncertain terms that ‘if you hit this number, we’ll release your commission’.
I hit the number.
I didn’t get paid the commission.
That shit hits hard because the goal posts moved. If you say something, it should mean something.
It’s the one thing that will destroy peoples trust in you and ultimately, it will mean you’re no longer seen as someone who keeps their word.
I’ve dealt with some people in business who work this way and I tend to not do business with them for very long.
🫵🏻 10. Be Unapologetically You.
It’s your USP.
No-one else can do it better than you.
Sure, some people won’t like it but who the fuck cares?
I tell my kids all the time that they need to be themselves - sure my teenage kids are going through the stage of adopting phrases and clothing styles from their friends but I want them to strive for uniqueness and for them to show up as themselves.
I haven’t always been myself - it led to a near breakdown and I ended up divorced and close to suicide (I’ve only ever spoke about this once before and you can listen to it here.)
Not living in a way which makes you happy is counterproductive - you’re only killing yourself slowly, the other person doesn’t know.
Show up as you, say what you want and be someone who is confident in their own skin.
👂🏻 11. Listen more than you speak.
Two ears, one mouth. Use them in that ratio.
How many times have you been in a meeting and there is one person who speaks ALL the time? Does that person ever contribute more to the meeting than anyone else or are they just taking up bandwidth?
I have a rule about my meetings, I either speak first (in which case I keep it very brief) or I speak last. I never speak in the middle.
When you speak first - speak to drive the thought process and open up the boundaries of what can be discussed in the meeting. In other words, set the tone and let people go.
If you speak last, you should have heard everyone’s perspective and you can use your time to summarise and relate to all the important points.
I do this in business, in my home life and with my friends.
Speak less - no-one ever said more by saying more.
🍝 12. Pasta makes life worth living.
Pasta - one of the greatest inventions in the world.
Nothing makes me happier than a bowl of pasta.
Do I need to say anything else?
🫣 13. When you think you can’t. You probably can.
“I can’t stand on stage and talk to an audience”
“I can’t buy condoms at the store, it’s embarrasing'“
“I can’t lose weight”
“I can’t grow a social media following”
Of course you can do all of these things, there is absolutely nothing standing in your way of achieving anything you want to set your mind at. It’s about having a growth mindset.
My kids will often use the word ‘Can’t’ and it drives me crazy - we say so many limiting things to ourselves on a daily basis but one thing we should be confident about is the ability to do something, anything.
If you think you can’t do something - email me and I guarantee I will find a way to do that*.
*I might not be able to get you a date with Margot Robbie though.
⏰ 14. Get there early and leave late.
Whether it’s a trip to the pub, a business meeting or a theatre show.
Be there early - the nervous energy that other people feel or show in the early stages of a business meeting can be overcome with a small amount of small talk.
The pre drinks at a pub (with the people who get there early because they can’t stay late) can be invaluable.
Stay late - for the same reason as above, the last drinks with others is where the memories are made (if you make it to the end, you’re a living legend).
Staying after a meeting shows that you’re not just there to show up and then leave - it portrays a real interest in what they have to say and it goes a long way in building relationships.
🕰️ 15. Be Selfish with your time.
Your time is precious.
As I said in Number 3. Everyone has the same amount in every single day and where you choose to spend it is massively important.
You should focus your life and your time on things which bring you joy.
Never say yes to a meeting to something you don’t want to do.
Never agree to spend time doing something that doesn’t really matter.
Block out your calendar for those important things - football, family time, free time.